I have a 4 year old who is an only child at the moment. I worked 3 days a week for a few months earlier this year, got pregnant again and was forced to leave work due to lack of childcare and my pelvic floor feeling like it would explode out of my body. I brought it up to his speech therapist. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts My husband actually made this skewed observation one day, as he caught me nursing our son and engrossed in an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Also, sorry for the long rant, just a lot on my chest right now. Millennial women are an empowered generation, yet they're more traditional than you'd think. I want to feel connected to people that have went through this. Starting out was hard though and learning how to afford to be a stay-at-home mom was one of the biggest challenges. For some background, My son is 18 months old, I am 29F. For the past four years we've lived here I have never felt like it's been properly organized or even cleaned. Don't tell me how "stressful" it is when you are privileged enough to even have the choice to work or not. I’m really struggling with my choices today. Oftentimes, they say stuff like "but I am also a chef, because I feed my kids." So, to be a stay-at-home-mom and combine family life and work is much easier now! I desperately miss my son but we also have to pay the bills and I'm at a loss for what I can do. Count your blessings. I fully recognize that the choice I made is not for everyone. My job is secure, I can go back anytime I want, but he refuses to agree with it. It allows you and your children to be social and meet people. In Stay-at-Home Moms Recently decided to be a stay at home mom. However, I did not look at it as a decision cast in stone. I knew that if I ever wanted or needed to, I … Remember, you are in this together, so you need to be respectful of their feelings, concerns, and other arguments they may have. The moment I sent the email, I sobbed. I don’t have it in me to exercise. I know I sound like a bitch by just doing what he says, but it’s important to me that we BOTH agree with it. I love being in my house now, and it feels so easy to keep everything clean or in its place. I’ve been working full-time for most of my kids’ lives. I? Deciding to be a stay at home mom was a gradual process. It is an amazing and humbling experience to take care of … And it provides the mother with her own sort of income, so that she doesn't have to depend on her significant other to pay for everything. If your partner says “no,” I’m sure they have their reasons. Sort of tried medicine, blah blah but really what I’m trying to say is I want to go back to work. Exercise. So here I am. That’s all my SO wants from me. Ever since then I haven’t been able to cope properly. Being a stay at home mom is 100% a choice that many women don't have. But people do it, and talking to other moms … We've decided to just stick with what we planned when we got married 10 years ago: I stay and maintain the home. How to Afford Being a Stay at Home Mom. If you know it’s the right choice for your family, that’s all that matters. SAHMs like to validate their choice to stay at home by calling it a "job", but in truth, many stay at home mothers are lonely and depressed. D by Daisy6788. I've never felt this way about my home before. // Check out my Amazon page to see all my everyday essentials and must haves! One of the biggest decisions you can make is whether to stay home with your baby or go back to work. To my mind, a prenup or postnup is an absolute legal and financial necessity for any woman choosing to give up paid work and all its associated benefits, tangible and otherwise, to stay home … But- I feel like I would not enjoy staying at home. He’s afraid childcare won’t give our son what he needs. I think we make stay at home moms feel bad as OP said, but we also make working moms feel bad for "not being there" for their kids, having daycare/nanny/relatives "raise" them, etc. Perhaps they believe that getting take-out most days of the week, having both spouses stressed out and overworked, and hiring babysitters for your children equals a … Your email address will … HOW the hell can I convince him it’s the right thing to do for EVERYONE in the house?? I really just need other moms to tell me I’m not alone. What I need seems to not be important... and it’s breaking my heart. The kids are OK. After a year at home with your baby, it can be hard to imagine balancing all that with a job. It is an example to your children on how to balance life outside of family. I do plan on getting to it, though. “I would have never got that time back with him … never,” she said. I was following the path I was told I should follow: I was getting an education, I was working, I was making something of myself. I don’t want an unhappy home and uncomfortableness between the love of my life and my child’s parents. A lot of stay-at-home mothers report that one of the challenges to their arrangement is not getting enough adult interaction. I have a two story home. struggled with the decision because I’ve worked hard and had lots of schooling to get to this... 11 Comments Last updated 5 months ago Welcome stay at home moms, dads, or anyone who would be curious about the stay at home parenting life. It's a luxury. I can only watch the same episode of paw patrol so many times. Also, while I have you wonderful people here, what room should I organize first upstairs, when I finally start on it? My oldest son will be 3 in February. I sent it. Don't tell me how hard it is being a stay at home mom when all of your bills are paid by your spouse's hard earned dollar. And now I feel a pull to stay at home with them while they’re young. Staying at home during the toddler … As they raise children, millennial women reclaim what it means to be a stay-at-home mom… I exercise because it is the only time in my day that I can complete a thought without interruption. I hesitate to categorize this one as a change since I … For some reason I’ve completely stopped taking care of myself. I’m still in my pajamas. And I've maintained it, too. Answering if you should be a stay at home mom is a very personal choice. I look like I’m starving myself to death no muscle tone whatsoever. “You’ve gone full-blown stay at home mom, watching soap operas and stupid reality shows.” Now, I’ll be … How did YOU stay sane and turn your sadness into hope? I worked my butt off in college to get a B.S. I had decided: I was going to be a stay at home mom. I don’t eat, and when I do it’s not healthy. Deciding to become a stay at home mom can be a tough call, but I’m sure that whatever you guys decide will be the right move. I know plenty of single, working moms who don't complain nearly half as much as some of these stay at home mothers. My job is begging me to come back, even offering more money than my SO other makes! This is exactly my situation. I know customer service is out because I don't have a silent work space. Staying home is a life altering decision, that will affect your entire family. Many other mothers have to do all these same things whenever they can find a spare moment around their 40+, (for some mom's it's more like 60+), work weeks. My child has no friends, rarely sees other children, missing out on very important social interaction. Please leave any questions or requests you have in the comments below! What should I make sure gets done every day? Well, whoop dee doo, Sharon!! We shop discounted groceries when possible. Forget what your mother-in-law thinks. SAHMs like to validate their choice to stay at home by calling it a "job", but in truth, many stay at home mothers are lonely and depressed. What are some things that will keep him entertained during the cold winter months/COVID? Hi all,I recently decided to pass up the opportunity for a promotion in order to be a stay at home Mom. To figure out how to afford to be a stay-at-home mom, the number one thing you’ll need is a budget. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. It wasn’t a decision we went into lightly. The pendulum on being a stay at home mom swings both ways. What helped you the most during this journey? Ignore comments from other parents about … Some people are made for this, no matter what I do I’m completely miserable with this role. Both kids are bathed, hair combed, teeth brushed, dressed and fed breakfast. I have been a stay at home mom … After he turned 15 months I started him with a speech therapist. I just kept thinking if I work with him more... that he will catch up. Related: Becoming a Stay at Home Mom. They can give our son what I can’t and I can’t seem to convince him to let me do it. If you're like most moms, you're always trying to figure out what's best for you and your family. I wish more than anything that I could stay home, at least until my daughter starts school. Here are 8 resources every mom needs to get started: 1. in Biology and my aspirations at that immature time in my life were great…you know, I was going to cure cancer or something magnificent. I want so bad to be that perfect 50’s housewife, but I’m just not. He says she always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so she should stop telling him about the downsides. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.. Being a stay at home mom is 100% a choice that many women don't have. In addition, I would like to say that the modern world provides moms with numerous opportunities to earn from home today. When I decided to be a stay at home mom, I had very limited options and at the time, being a stay at home mom was the best decision for our family. It wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do. Like, yeah babies cry and poop and eat all day, but she said from our first date she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But I’ve been reading up on attachment parenting which really speaks to me. I don’t exercise to be skinny or to be in shape or whatever. To say that her story caused controversy would be quite the understatement. Deciding to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom The 1 Reason You Should Be a Stay-at-Home Mom (It's Also Why You Shouldn't Be One) April 22, 2017 by Katharine Stahl. Charissa. Being a Stay at Home Mom. Cheers! My son and I … r/stayathomemoms: Welcome stay at home moms, dads, or anyone who would be curious about the stay at home parenting life. The entire thing! I did not have the luxury of knowing. Press J to jump to the feed. Oftentimes, they say stuff like "but I am also a chef, because I feed my kids." In the article, Heffernan shared nine reasons why she regretted her decision to become a stay-at-home mom. It was something else we hadn’t really planned for. There are a lot of fathers out there who say they want to be a stay-at-home dad, but could they hack it if given the opportunity to care for the kids full-time?Most likely, but it isn’t a move to be taken lightly and there is some preparation to do. Your partner has to be 100% on board with you staying home. Are Your Comfortable Leaving Your Career?Before getting pregnant and having a baby you might … If you are determined enough to make it happen, you can almost definitely find a way to cut your bills and spending down to a point that makes being a stay at home mom … How to Decide If You Should Be a Stay-at-Home Mom or a Working One, Julie Davis - Read more about Christian parenting and family. Since he was one I suspected he could have autism. On the other hand, if you want to stay home with your kids, try to ignore external pressures to do otherwise. Deciding to stay home and spend time with her son is one she has never regretted. Your Feelings. Or "I am a beautician, because I brushed my kid's hair this morning", or "I'm also a maid because I clean". All types of answers are okay, links to blog posts about a day with children in school, your chore list, etc. The upstairs is a different story(no pun intended) and I am not ready to try to organize that yet, just keep maintaining the mess (and make sure it doesn't trickle down here). I was good with the housework at first but now I’m caught up on everything, I completely loathe that that’s the only thing productive I actually do (other than take care of my son). Many feminists also believe that all women should work outside the home and that even mothers shouldn't be stay-at-home moms. In my own personal experience, it is far more healthier of a life choice, for you and your child, for mothers to go back to work when their children are old enough to go to daycare or preschool, anyway. And I chose to stay home with my son. This year, both of my kids started school full time. My husband held me as I sobbed, knowing how hard it was for me to give up a job I loved so much. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Well here we are and even though he’s talking a lot more than what he was, he’s now showing other signs. Some people just know they are destined to be a stay at home mom or they are meant to work. The place I have lined up is a super legit church setting. She agreed with me that he was showing red flags. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. I’ve got to call and schedule him to be evaluated tomorrow so I don’t officially have the diagnosis, but in my mind I already know. Kids' bedrooms(2), kids' bathroom, laundry room, master bedroom and office(together), master bathroom. Instead of maintain, it has actually been like clean and organize for the first time. We had a stillbirth in July, so second child never happened ( a lot to that but not what this post is about). Do any of you moms work from home and are still able to watch your little one? When we found out our son is autistic I was happy I was able to be home with him. Choosing to be a stay-at-home stepmom was the easiest and hardest decision I have ever made. However, it further let me know that I made the right decision being a stay at home mom. “This is what she wanted all along, so I hate hearing her complain about it. A mother’s own happiness is an important part of her success as a mom. I have a 4 and 2 year old. You CAN afford to be a stay at home mom (or dad) even if your spouse has a low income. I recently accomplished cleaning and organizing the entire downstairs. I’d love to hear your journey of how you navigated through this. And without any help doing it, either! A Budget. It’s not that I want to get away from my son, I just need to get away from the loneliness of the house. There are articles like this one , in which a woman pours out her heart, looking at an empty nest and wondering what she did with her life. I don’t get to exercise every day. 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